While the title gives away the plot, I will have to elaborate on my soul history in order for this post to make sense. As mentioned elsewhere, and as this site suggests, ours are the days of Ascension. While the process evolves, past-life memories return and our present lives are beginning to make more sense as well.

As a descending being, my "career" in the Earth realm started with a role as Deva on Earth, along with a part of my soul group. We tended to and partially created early life on Earth and had a whale of a time as what Yeshua calls "angel children". That bliss comprehensively ended when low-vibratory extraterrestrials entered the Earth realm. They fought wars among themselves, abusing Earth as such, to our profound shock. We, as Devas, decided we should confront these belligerent aliens, so we incarnated as humans and entered the Galactic Wars. At some point, to the reptilians of Orion I was becoming enough of a nuisance that they decided to molest my soul mate. She wanted revenge, not knowing how I would fly off the handle on that.

While deeply respecting all forms of life as Devas, we partially assumed the negative reptilian energy during the wars. Personally, I became desensitized to violence and developed a deep disgust, contempt and anger towards Orion reptilians.

I do not wish to elaborate on my act of revenge, just that when the reptilian realized what was happening, his soul cried out to me on a psychic level: "Why? What have I done to you?". That moment has haunted me throughout the aeons, until today.

The Orion reptilians, if I understand correctly, in my still limited awareness during this lifetime, deny the existence of a "God Spark" within themselves. The latter refers to each life form being an aspect of Prime Creator (or God, if you will) and that the soul is an individualized "piece of God energy". The reptilians see themselves as completely disjoint from God and even feel they can challenge him on an equal basis (the concept of the devil).

At the fateful moment of "revenge" the God Spark within the reptilian realized it had been betrayed by another Spark, even when, on a deeper level we are all a part of the infinite intelligent quantum field we call God. We both got the shock of our lives when we realized that the reptilian too, in his inner core, was a part of God Consciousness. In him it set in motion an incredible journey of evolution that eventually enabled him to incarnate as, you guessed it, my (late) father in this lifetime. For an Orion reptilian to morph into an essentially non-violent being, capable of love and empathy, that is extremely rare. I hugely respect him for that and apparently, at his level of evolution, I trusted him enough to want to incarnate with him as his son.

The objective is to atone and forgive and restore unity consciousness, the awareness that we're not enemies but individualized aspects of the same.

As a child, in my third-eye consciousness (or whatever you want to call it) I saw my father, not as the obscene being he was during the previous time we "met", but nevertheless as a very bulky, scaly, grey reptoid. I didn't fear him but was deeply disgusted and embarrassed that my father was a reptilian (on the one hand) and at the same time felt hurt and disappointed that he, as an incarnate human (on the other hand), didn't accept me. To make long story short, we never hit it off, but our relationship was non-violent and largely cordial.

We have both come a long way. I have learned to put my anger towards the reptilians into perspective and that revenge against the individual is essentially a crime against the All. He has accomplished the unthinkable: To escape from the bottomless pit of Orion programming, violence and perversion and become an essentially civilized human. He craves forgiveness, both from my soul mate and me and I crave granting it, as well as his forgiveness for my act. Wanting to forgive is one thing, being capable of it can be another. So deeply engrained are the Galactic War sentiments, traumas and prejudice. So deep the anger....And so I wonder if I then should accept him as fully human and embrace him as such, or see and accept him as a reptilian and embrace that. The latter is the hardest but could well be unavoidable. I learned forgiveness from Saint Germain in his Temple of the Violet Flame in Yanini (Lemuria). Not just "letting go", because at the level of the God Spark, the bare essence of every being, there can only be total forgiveness, because that alone permits the only way to be: that of Oneness. However, in the case of my father and me there were/are two parties willing to go to any length in order to mend their separation. Not always there is such symmetry. If one of the parties sees no reason to deplore its negative deeds, forgiveness often seems unrealistic under 3D Earthly circumstances. However, if we want to make progress as an aspiring fifth dimensional people it's paramount to trust the ascension process and that everyone ends up where they need to be and belong in their particular state of evolution. That's what the picture of the two doors is about. The increasing energy conditions on Earth will force every lifeform to make a choice between the light and the dark. Then the "law of cause and effect" will kick in: you will experience what you create. Karma is another word for it. It's the intelligent universal quantum field (the All/God) that will confront every individual with the consequences of its choices. When I, for one, am at my angriest, I say that I don't want to come between a particular person and his karma. In other words, let the universe deal with that person in the wisest and fairest way. So that I don't have to. Am I capable of unconditional love? No. While in beginning 6th dimensional consciousness, I still find myself embedded within third, fourth dimensional Earth-reality, with all the truly horrendous Orion programming. Unconditional love and asymmetric forgiveness then seems perverse. However, I have totally lost the vengeful reflex. And I continuously try to distinguish between a person's inner core and his programming, until I actually feel sorry for the person that wronged me. After all, no-one is worth it for me to lower my frequency through any sort of negative reaction on my part. Carry this over to the Earth collective and realize that the dark elites will at some point line up in front of the steel "money door" (metaphorically) and will be taken to another 3-dimensional world where they can continue their soul's evolution. Those who choose the "love door" will eventually join Gaia on the fifth dimensional Earth. But that does not include taking revenge on the elites. Those who ascend are either at least 51% "service to others" oriented (the love door) or 95% "service to self" (money door). God insists that you make this binary choice. Wisdom is not the middle ground here. You have to make a choice, and the light will make you ..